So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
