I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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