omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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