I want to stick my p in your. b.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
