"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
