i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
