Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
