I only kidnapped one of them. chill
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
