Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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