Can Purell be used as lube?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
