i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
