i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
