Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
