Whod you bang
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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