have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize