Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've blown a few things in my day
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
