A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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