I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
