When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
