If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
