dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
