Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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