it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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