he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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