She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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