dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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