So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We're too hungover to prance.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
