Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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