omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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