Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize