Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
