Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
