You're my little dorito
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
