You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
