How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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