Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize