There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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