We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
