He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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