So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
