yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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