sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
