and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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