Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
