Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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