I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
