Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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