Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
