My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
