He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
