so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
