Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
