But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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