there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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