a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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