end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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