So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i now understand why vodka
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
