I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
