i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
