ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
