I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
