so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
