you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My feet surprised me
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