We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
