I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
